


Fuck Priority: Earth

by spencerdee



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Synthesis Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:18:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spencerdee/pseuds/spencerdee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A big house, white picket fence, two kids, and a retriever. She wants all that and she deserves it. I just-" a sob ripped through her chest and for the first time since setting foot on Earth, Shepard allowed tears to fall, "I can't be there to give that to her. Not anymore."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck Priority: Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I'd contribute to the Shaynor part of ao3 with a little fic I wrote on the commute home from school. I've also been thinking of writing another Shaynor story, one that's very unrequitted and hopefully painful. Cheers.
> 
> (Will edit and proofread this when I have time off)

Earth has always been a remarkable place for Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor.

Earth was where Samantha's parents met - in some dingy old hole-in-the-wall cafe like a cliche classic movie. That cafe had been her parents' special place, a sort of haven from the mountain of paperwork her mother often had to sift through in her office job and a place of bountiful inspiration for her more artistic father who sold his greatest piece to the elderly owner. Earth was where her parents' love sparked and festered, and where it brought to the world a shy little girl with inquisitive eyes.

Earth was where Samantha discovered her true potential in Oxford. The university had not been kind to the colonist kid whose education was backed by the Alliance navy. The competition had been tremendous - and sometimes, even physically harmful - but she loved it. Her mind was pushed to the limit by the packed workload every semester brought, and Samantha pushed it further with her regular participation in international chess tournaments. Earth was where she discovered her potential and passion, and the future that seemed brighter than all the stars in the cosmos.

Earth was where Samantha first discovered honest and true love. It was in a language elective class that wasn't included in her workload, but Samantha still took because she had time to spare. It was love at first and all the cliches Samantha often read in romance novels she would sneak from the university's library - the palpitating heartbeat that threatened to break free from her chest, the dryness of her throat as the woman's dulcet tones began to discuss their syllabus, and the way every novel and song suddenly began to make sense as though they were speaking of them and of that moment. Samantha played for keeps, and the woman - Grace, she had repeated in her mind for the remainder of her school years accompanied by starry eyes and dreamy sighs - played along with her. At least, until the dream shattered and they were torn apart.

It was on Earth that Samantha was whisked away on the Normandy - a retrofit job that she was supposed to only work on for five days a week from nine to five - when the Reapers decided to claim the lives of millions. Leaving Earth - leaving it burning as she watched from the windows of the ship - had been difficult, and she could only imagine how much more so for the soldiers aboard. She could only imagine how difficult it was for the illustrous Commander Shepard, whose face was drawn in a tight line and fist slammed against the wall hard enough to leave a dent as the flew away from Captain Anderson.

It wasn't the first time Samantha saw the well-renowned war hero. She had seen her in Horizon, when the Collectors attacked. She had stood petrified due to the serum injected by the miniscule robotic insects that swarmed her colony, watching as the Commander marched valiantly forward, flanked by a dark-haired biotic and a quarian engineer. There was a sense of gratitude, but the Commander was in a system so far away that no Mass Relay could reach her. It had resembled thanking a god.

There were no time for introductions as the Commander headed for Mars under direct instruction from Admiral Hackett. Samantha kept her head down, working the comm lines to help in any way that she could.

When the Commander returned, it was with an Asari whose simple presence seemed to have brought back a little light in those mellowed green orbs. Dr. Liara T'Soni; Samantha had heard of her before.

A day cycle in the Normany after Dr. T'Soni's retrival, Samantha decided that she would approach the Commander to explain the retrofits on her ship. Several crew members tried to dissuade her from the idea, even going as far as to tell her rumours about the Commander's character report. "They've declared her Renegade," they said, "She'll put a bullet between your eyes if you look at her wrong."

Fear ran down Samantha's spine, but she called the elevator anyway.

Finally meeting the Commander was nerve-wracking. Samantha's grip on the tablet shook with her hands and her words came out in a hurried mess. Her head swam as worry and nervousness flooded her system, but the Commander raised a hand.

"Woah, Specialist," she said, a smile tugging at the edges of her lips. "Slow down there."

Samantha ducked her head, face flushed a bright crimson at having been called out. "I'm sorry. I'm just really nervous about this."

She chanced a look up, and sucked in a deep breath through clenched teeth.

Oh.

The smile finally won the battle and was displaying itself proudly on the Commander's features. "You're doing fine," she assured with a light chuckle.

Samantha wondered briefly if that was how the ancient Greeks felt when they erected monuments to their gods; fear and awe mixing in wonderful harmony as they can't help but be drawn to these creatures seemingly so near but were immaterial in their presence.

She gave the Commander a shy laugh, and the rest, as they say, was history.

-*-*-

Samantha clutches the folder as she sits in the holding room at the established Sol refugee camp. Four more souls share the room with her, all of which covered in bandages and medigel wraps. None of them looked as wounded as her.

She can hear them in the back of her mind. If she ever finds the concentration to listen, she would know of their concerns regarding her. Instead, her mind and body is focused on the manila folder in her shaking hands.

"Samantha," EDI's voice breaks through the silence in the room and in Samantha's mind. None of the occupants of the room seem to have noticed her arrival prior to her words, but all eyes are now on her. All eyes, except for the ones that she needs, so she tries again. "Samantha."

It doesn't work and EDI kneels down in front of the Specialist. "Samantha," she repeats, her voice unwavering in its startingly human-like sincerity, "It is time."

Briefly, dark eyes lift to acknowledge her and EDI takes that as permission enough. She raises her hand, omnitool primed, and readies the video.

"EDI," Shepard's voice erupts from the device. It's choppy and the video is blurred, but it is unmistakeable that it's the woman they're currently mourning. Everyone watches with baited breath, eyes flitting towards Samantha at times.

"I'm not bringing you with me down there. I need you up here." Shepard pauses, looking off to her side as a smile manifests on her face. "I need you to take care of her. Take care of her and Joker, and everyone else on the ship. Keep her safe."

EDI's voice fills the silence next - the mechanical stiltedness of it telling of the vid's age. "Shepard, would it not be a more viable option if-"

"No," Shepard cut in. "She wants to help, and I'm not going to take that from her. She wants to be here and that's why I need you to be here. Do you understand, EDI?"

A beat, and then, "Yes, Shepard."

"Good." Even through the grainy image, the defeat in Shepard's eyes is apparent. She looks to the side again, a small, sad smile on her lips. "Good."

She can feel eyes on her, awaiting her reaction as the image fades. The green under her dark skin pulsates once before returning to its stasis.

A long moment passes before Liara, estranged lover and loyal friend of the late Commander, speaks up. "She did what she believed was right." She remembers the brief moment when Shepard all but hauled her into the Normandy. Her eyes fall on the dog tag now around the erstwhile Specialist's neck, the very same one that Shepard had tucked into her hand with an order for it to reach Samantha.

Samantha shakes her head, the folder crumpling in her tightening grip. No tears fall; she fears she has none left to give. She glares at the folder, at the bright red lettering on its front. "Fuck Priority: Earth."

EDI is quick to have her arms around Samantha in an act Joker has taught her - a hug - and her warm but not quite organic yet skin serves as the final straw. The folder falls to the floor, its contents spilling out, as the Specialist breaks down in the AI's embrace.

Liara is the one who stands to pick up the mission folder, pausing briefly as the stern face of the late Commander stares back at her.

-*-*-

Earth was not a place that held good memories for Commander Alexandria Shepard.

Earth was where her parents died. Her father died while she was still an infant, protecting his family from a group of mercenaries sent to hunt down Captain Lisandra Shepard for incarcerating one of the higher ups. He took a bullet to the chest defending his wife from an assailant. Her mother followed him many years later, during the initial wave of the Reapers as they invaded Earth. The moment Alexa stepped on the Normandy again, her mother fell on her knees in Earthen soil.

Earth was where Alexa was grounded for half a year for doing what the rest of the galaxy was too frightened to do - fight the enemy that sought to eliminate their existence. Her ship, her crew, her title; they were all taken away from her and she was stowed in some flowery facility that resembled a fancy prison more than the modest hotel they claimed it to be. Eyes followed her every movement and ears listened to every conversation. Privacy was a privilage she couldn't afford because she had once again saved mankind from a powerful threat.

Worse still, Earth was where she lost the love of her life. Rather, she left the love of her life. Meeting Samantha Traynor aboard the Normandy was like a gift from the heavens - a sort of prize for everything she had to put up with the last few years. Every touch was a soothing balm that healed more than the visible scars that screamed with every harsh action taken. Every moment of rose tinted cheeks and long winded ramblings brought with it hope for a future in a peaceful home and a quiet life. Every muttered 'Lexa' was a song that she strived to hear til her dying breath. She would die on Earth away from the person that taught her that she could be good again, that there was more to life than simply getting the mission done no matter the means. She would die away from her light, and she knew that it would extinguish it entirely.

Shepard glanced at the image of the boy, looking up at her expectantly. A decision between three options that would decide the future of all species in the galaxy. How could they expect her to make that decision?

"I-" she began, but none of the words seem enough. Like Mordin always used to say, 'had to be me'. From the very beginning, the responsibility was on her. She could not run away from it. Her hand moved towards her chestplate, at the sticker placed right above her heart. A queen chess piece surrounded by a rainbow; Shepard remembered laughing in amusement as Samantha placed it on her armour. "Can I ask you for a favour?"

"That depends on what you wish for, Shepard."

"Nothing big, don't worry. I just need to contact my ship. I need to leave a message to EDI." Shepard nodded to herself. EDI would do it. She knew with all her heart that she would.

"I believe I can do that, Shepard." The Catalyst waved his hand and the image of EDI appeared before them.

"Shepard?"

"Hey, EDI," she called out, head ducked low as she thought of what to say. Coming clean seemed to be the only option. "I'm going to die. I'll walk into that light and I'll die, but I need to do it. I need to do it for everyone, EDI. I need to do it for myself."

"I do not understand, Shepard."

"Don't lie to me, EDI. You understand." Shepard chuckled and her injured side protested at the action. "I have a favour to ask you. I need you to... Sam. I need you to take care of Sam because I can't do it anymore. A big house, white picket fence, two kids, and a retriever. She wants all that and she deserves it. I just-" a sob ripped through her chest and for the first time since setting foot on Earth, Shepard allowed tears to fall, "I can't be there to give that to her. Not anymore."

A beat as EDI looked at the air in front of her, seemingly not seeing Shepard. "I... believe I understand, Shepard."

"Thank you, EDI." A lighthearted laugh echoed around the Crucible's chamber, and Shepard wondered just when she learned how to laugh again. Sam. It was because of Sam, and the memory of the girl permanently embedded in her heart stopped her laughter short. She looked out of the Crucible, to the sight of fire and death.

"Fuck Priority: Earth."


End file.
